church discipline

We might not like those words: "church discipline".  They sound uncaring, unkind, unloving, and even mean-spirited.  But a right understanding of what Jesus meant shows that rather than being unloving, it is one of the most loving things a Christian can do.

One of the most neglected commands in the New Testament is church discipline (or “Christian restoration”).  Jesus taught this for the purity of the church body and for the good of each individual. We don’t let a member wander off in sin – we love him enough to go to him and try to bring him back.  Correction in the Christian life is a good thing.  Church discipline includes all 4 steps (Matt. 18), and only rarely ever makes it to the 4th step – but when necessary, we must be committed to follow the Lord’s command in that area, because it is the loving and right thing to do, just as Jesus said.

My point with this little blog entry isn't to describe it fully (which would take a book), or even to make an apologetic for practicing it.  Rather, it is to link to some resources on this important subject.

Links / helpful resources about church discipline:

·         From GTY:  we, as church members, have responsibilities as related to church discipline:

o   “Too many Christians regard discipline as the exclusive domain of church elders, but that is simply not the case. The purity of the church is every Christian’s concern. The responsibility to confront sin that defiles the church lies with the first person to become aware of the sin. Don’t defer it to someone else. Don’t spread the circle of knowledge further than necessary. Furthermore, prayer for the sinning brother should never be used as an alternative to obeying Christ’s clear command to confront.”

o   “If you observe a Christian brother in a morally compromising situation, you should confront him.”

o   “Church discipline is the necessary response to any offense that cannot be safely overlooked without harm to the offender or to the body of Christ.”

·         Also GTY, when should church discipline be used, and what happens when it isn’t?

o   “Second, biblical discipline is not about micromanaging people’s lives. The kind of offenses that require confrontation and biblical discipline are not unintentional transgressions, petty annoyances, or matters of simple preference. They are serious violations of clear biblical principles—sins that hurt other believers, destroy the unity of the flock, and sully the purity of the church. In such cases, sin must be dealt with. Such sins cannot be covered up. They are like leaven, and left alone their evil effects will eventually permeate the whole church (1 Corinthians 5:6).”

o   “The permissiveness that results when discipline is neglected inevitably leads to chaos. This is as true in the church as it is in a family. No adult enjoys being around children who are never disciplined. In the same way, a church that is lax on dealing with sin in the body ultimately becomes intolerable to all but the most immature believers. Failing to practice church discipline therefore ensures that the flock will be spiritually stunted. It is also a sure way to incur God’s displeasure (Revelation 2:14, 20).”

o   “Jesus’ instructions about church discipline in Matthew 18 are clear and unequivocal. This issue is therefore a good test of whether a church is serious about obedience to Christ. People often ask me what to look for in a church. Consistent, proper discipline is near the top of my list. One thing is certain: A church that does not discipline sinning members is going to have perpetual and serious problems.”

·         From GTY again, the Grace Community Church “distinctives” on church discipline

·         From Pure Life Ministries – church discipline and porn (by someone on the receiving end)

Technology, your kids, and purity

Parents, this is for you. With the explosion of electronic devices and the digital age, our children have abilities which could barely be dreamed of when we were growing up. Often, the kids are the experts and we are “digital immigrants”, and it isn’t easy to keep up with them. We should be thankful for good and useful technology properly used for God’s glory, but we also need to be aware of potential misuses of the same technology.

For our brief purposes here, let’s talk about computer use and cell phone use by your children. First, they need to recognize that those things are probably not truly a necessity – they are useful and convenient, but they are also a privilege – a privilege that could be taken away if there is significant misuse.

As a parent, you do not have a right to inspect your kids’ computer or cell phone – you have (in my opinion) a DUTY to do so. If the child objects, that may very well be an indication of a larger problem. Every so often, I would encourage you to take the laptop and the phone, and spend some time with them. Check for things, including pictures and text messages on the phone. At my home, I do this without even having to touch the phone – with a laptop and Bluetooth (or a cable), the software supplied by the phone manufacturer allows me to look at or copy everything from the phone onto the computer. It would seem best to do this at unannounced times – and for the phone, do it right after some texting has been going on. One other thing you can do is log on to your wireless account on the cell vendor’s web site, and check out the numbers for your child’s phone for all calls and text messages. (The AT&T site allows this – I assume others do as well.) If you don’t recognize a number, you’ll probably want to find out who it is. Obviously, some children (who have proven themselves responsible and who have a desire for holiness) will need to be checked less often than others.

Computer use is best supervised to some degree – out in the open, or in a room with the door open and the screen facing the doorway. If there has been a time when some unsupervised computer usage has occurred, that is the perfect time to check the machine. If your older child is allowed to have a web site, please check it often – and make sure they don’t have a separate website somewhere that you don’t know about. Personally, I think that IM (instant messaging) should either be blocked or limited to known friends, and if allowed, IM logs should be checked.

There is usually no reason for public chat room access/usage. For computer safety, we recommend installing BESECUR / BSAFE Online on all household computers. There are other filters that may be acceptable as well.

Electronic and digital safety is much more than monitoring and filters, of course. They are helpful, they are necessary, and they can help eliminate accidental problems. However, they don’t fix the heart. The best means to ensure correct use of technology is to instill a heart that loves and fears God, to encourage a desire to obey Christ, and to teach about the ugliness and vileness of sin. If there is misuse, you may decide to take away the equipment for a period of time based on the severity of the problem, or perhaps other consequences would be in order. But don’t stop there – work with your child, instruct him spiritually – address the real issue of the heart.

If your child reads this and is offended, take that as an opportunity for instruction. I love them enough to say these things. You love them even more, so if you haven’t been doing some of these things, now is the time to show your love for them by exercising parental authority in this area. May the Lord bless and give wisdom! And if you have any questions, please ask someone you trust, perhaps an elder in your church – whether the questions are spiritual or technical.

SDG,
Dave